Top Ten Tuesday

I recently discovered Amanda and her fancy schmancy blog. I'm linking up to her Top Ten Tuesdays, and today's list for me is:

Top Ten Things that Terrify Me

1. Arachnids. 

I blame this fear on watching Arachnophobia when I was little. What dad thinks that's a good movie to show his daughter?! Yes, anything with 8 or more legs gives me nightmares and throws me into a nice little panic attack. (I guess this category should included centipedes and millipedes, but I don't know the fancy name for them.) 

2. Tornadoes 

I blame this fear on watching Terrible Tuesday in second grade. That movie was horrifying. I've had nightmares of tornadoes ever since, and second grade was a very long time ago. (In my dreams, however, I usually save everyone. That's a plus.)

3. Chainsaws

Again, I blame this on another movie, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (Notice a pattern? I don't think my parents really thought through the possible effects of media on children.) Just the sound of a chainsaw makes my heart race. Yes, I know. When you go through a haunted house or haunted maze, the costumed-terrors don't have real chains on the the chainsaws. Yes. I know. That doesn't make it any less scary. 

4. Not Dying Well

I'm not afraid of death. Death is wonderful! Death is gain. Heaven. Jesus. God in all His glory forever! However, dying is frightening. I'm afraid of pain, because I'm pitiful and weak, and I'm afraid of not dying well. I don't want to draw up into myself and my suffering and dishonor God. All of us are going to die. I want to die well.

5. Hot Dog Guy or Garden Center Man Dying 

HDG is healthy. GCM is...Well, he's surviving. Neither of them are physically sick. I will have a difficult time with their deaths; however, because neither of them know the Lord. They've both openly rejected salvation repeatedly, and I care about both of them dearly.
I know, theologically, that those who die without salvation are dying a just and reasonable death. However, theology in my head doesn't always sooth the pain in my heart. I know God can still change their hearts. I just want to see it happen. I want to rejoice with them when they see their need for a Savior and humble themselves before the Lord to receive mercy and forgiveness and grace.

6. People, Lots of People

I get really anxious and nervous amidst a crowd of people, even if I know everyone. I like small groups of people, with whom I can hold conversation without the fear of too many eyes looking at me at once. Having Caleb has been helpful. I'm afraid of church and going shopping, but he takes most of the attention away from me. (Silly. I know.) 

7. Embarrassment

One reason I'm so afraid of large groups of people is that there are more people to see me do or say something dumb. I'm not exactly the most graceful person, my mouth makes too many words and I get flustered easily. To my chagrin, all those wonderful characteristics create a muddled soup of terror for me. 

8. Divorce

This one has grounds in my family. I can't think of anyone in my family that is a Christian and happily married to his/her first love. (My bio-mom and her hubby almost count. Same for my hubby's dad and wife. Almost) That could be depressing. 

My hubby and I are not above sin, so it is possible that one of us may walk away from the Lord and the other. I have no reason to fear this, though. We're doing everything to fight for our marriage while it's young and thriving, so that when it's old, it'll still be thriving. It's a slow fade, divorce. It can be avoided, long before the word is spoken.

9. Being Tickled

Don't ask. I just hate, hate, hate being tickled. When I see someone on a movie strung up in a creepy guy's dungeon, I think, Oh! God, I don't think I could handle that. I can't even sleep with my arms above my head, for fear that my hubby may accidentally run his hand past my underarm. Ah! I hate it!

10. Losing My Little Man

Caleb's such a wonderful, great gift, and I love him so much. It would devastate me to lose him. That would be a heart-wrenching desert in my walk with the Lord. How parents go through something like that and still walk in faith and love Jesus, I hope to never know firsthand. 

___________

I'm a pretty fearful person. Thankful that my fears do not dictate reality. They are subject to God and His Word. They are not lord of my life. 

These were in no particular order.

Thanks for reading. For more Top Ten Tuesday entries from other Mommy Bloggers, visit: Oh Amanda!