He's always been faithful to me.

It's always fun to begin a new journal, and this year I was able to begin one at the first of the year. I was challenged by Passion to choose one word for the year, one word that I felt God wanted me to experience this year. I "sat before the Lord" for a while, praying and asking for His one word that He had for me. I prayed and sat and waited and listened. The word that came to mind was change.

After that time with the Lord and journaling a bit, I listened to the song "Hallelujah" by Bethany Dillon and wrote some of the lyrics in the front of my journal.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Whatever's in front of me,

help me to sing Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Whatever's in front of me,

I'll choose to sing Hallelujah!"

In light of all this, God was faithful. (Imagine that.) So much did change this year, and that song was a great reminder throughout this year.

-We got pregnant in February.

-I quit my job.

-My hubby graduated from college.

-I faced many of my fears rather than running from them.

-Nothing about labor and delivery went as planned.

-Health insurance was more than $1000 a month for a while.

-My hubby didn't have a job for months and was suddenly hired at a wonderful place.

What's funny about all this. I took a few moments just now to read through some of my journal entries. The whole time I was praying about this word change, I was assuming God meant for me to change. From January 23, "Father, is change the word You have for me? I believe it is, but I haven't really prayed or fasted or lived it out. I've been just like last year..."

However, coming to the end of the year, I look back and see that God meant for change to come to my life and lots of it. At the same time, I think I've changed, too.

A few months ago I stumbled upon the book, Secure in the Everlasting Arms by Elisabeth Elliot. A recurring theme of the book is, "Do the next thing." She emphasizes how Christians become more like Jesus in our everyday lives. We aren't to spend our lives concerned with sanctification and all that the Holy Spirit is doing in our hearts. (Most of that we can't understand anyway.) We're to spend our lives glorifying God by enjoying and obeying Him.

Just "do the next thing." Sweep the floor. Sing a song. Kiss my hubby. Take the pups for a walk. Hold my baby. Clean the toilet. Buy the groceries. Serve my hubby. Feed my baby. Speak kindly to my enemy. Call my mother-in-law. Feed the doggies.

Through doing these ordinary things, sanctification comes. The Holy Spirit works in my life as I'm obedient to God's will for my life. I don't have to chase down change. It doesn't come in the super-spiritual stuff. Change happens while I'm just doing the next thing. I have seen this played out this year.

I'm becoming more patient as I wake up to feed Caleb. I'm becoming more empathetic as I pray and cry for Lauren, because her hubby's deployed. I'm praying more, because there isn't much else to do during 1:30 a.m. feedings. I'm praying for Caleb, friends, family, myself... I'm learning to trust the Lord as things don't turn out how I'd planned. I'm learning humility as my baby fat stays longer than I'd like, clothes don't fit, friends bring us food, and buy formula and diapers for us. I'm learning to love the unlovely as family members hurt one another, and I can only pray and show kindness.

So from January to December, tons of things have changed--inside and out. What a painfully rewarding year this has been. God showed Himself faithful to keep His promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) I can trust this upcoming year to Him, because I know He'll always be faithful to me.

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" ~Psalm 115:1