Oh, Hezekiah.

Here's the story: Hezekiah is king of Judah. He's one of the few "good kings." God tells him he's going to die, so he begs humbly for his life. God agrees to give him more time.

Then, the King of Babylon hears that he's recovered, so he comes to visit. He not-so-humbly lets this king see everything he owns, all his treasures and...Well, all the stuff you don't let another king know you have.

He's rebuked by the prophet Isaiah for doing that and God tells him that one day all his stuff will belong to the king of Babylon and his sons will be his eunuchs. Here's his thoughtful response: "The word of the LORD that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, There will be peace and security in my days. (see Isaiah 39)
______


That last little bit always fills my heart with anger. How on earth could you be so selfish and self-centered and...I mentally continue angrily interrogating King Hezekiah. {It's oh-so helpful and accomplishes a lot.}

Tonight, I stopped my little mental rant and realized: Usually, the reason I get angry at someone for something, especially a sin, is because it's something I do. {i.e. I get super angry at prideful people who want to be right, because it inhibits my moment of being right.}

I sat for a few minutes and journaled through my thoughts. I was thinking King Hezekiah was filled with pride, selfishness and a love of comfort...

Dang it.

That last one got me. Ooh, right on the kisser.

If I struggle with any sin, and I struggle with many sins, worshipping myself is number one. And what better way to bow at my altar than to be sure I'm always super comfortable. I've sacrificed much time, love and many people on the altar of comfort.

I got nothing. No more throwing stones at King Hezekiah. I must walk away with my tail tucked while Jesus writes my name in the sand.

After being humbled to the dust, I am grateful for a few things in this:

• God always tells the whole truth about great "Bible heroes." 
• He's preserved their stories, so I can see my life through theirs.
• I don't have to hang my head in shame when I see my sin.

God's already paid the great cost of my pride and selfishness and idolatry. I'm free! Free to obey Him and follow Him and love Him above all, badly and inconsistently, but love Him just the same. 

What if the Bible isn't True.

My pastor writes a short study each week to help prepare us for the next sermon.* It gets his people in the Word each day and has been very helpful in my life.

Yesterday, the question was asked in the study: What happens to the Gospel if the Bible isn't true? I sat and thought for a while, and my heart hurt.

The Gospel completely falls apart if the Bible isn't really God's Inerrant Word. Everything that Christians are banking this life and the next on is a lie or at the very least a mistake.

The Gospel is that God loves His children so much that He dies for them, so that they will be holy. They're freed from slavery to sin, freed from God's wrath and given victory over death and hell. They have His Spirit with them in this life and live with God forever in the next. All because of Jesus.

But if Jesus wasn't who He said He was, and the Bible isn't what It says It is. We truly are to be pitied above all men.

All that crumbles in my life if the Bible isn't true:

• my marriage
• hope in the face of death
• my parenting
• my personal worth
• my decision-making
• how to steward our money
• why I exist
• how and why I love others
• compassion for the marginalized

Nothing is eternal. Nothing is everlasting. It's all fleeting and has little purpose beyond today. 

My Hubby and I are banking our entire lives on the Gospel, and It is true. It is the real, life- and heart-changing Truth that gives meaning, purpose and freedom to our lives. 

It may sound sad to wrap our lives up in something so tightly. But we all do it. We all worship something. If one thinks about her life, she may realize what she worships may not last much longer. Only a relationship with God through Jesus brings eternal satisfaction.

"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

'Death is swallowed up in victory.'

'O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?'

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

(1 Corinthians 15:54-57)

*I understand this fear: If your pastor is writing the sermons and dictating what you study in the Bible, then he may lead you astray. Yes, that is true. Cults are run this way. However, we're at liberty to read and study the Bible through any pastors or studies that we feel are helpful. This just keeps our church simple and has everyone on the same page. 

Depressing. Like, Super Depressing.

I have never read through the entire Bible in one year, but I do read the Bible. {I study it using our church's study guide, but I also just read it.} I've been a Christian for almost a decade, but I've only read the whole thing once.

I use these nifty little bookmarks to keep my place. I'm at different places on each bookmark. Like I said, I'm not trying to read through the Bible this year; I'm just reading it.

I'm on my fourth or fifth time reading the Gospels, and only my second time through the rest of the Bible.

Well, all that to say: Our church is in Romans 2. I'm also in Job, Isaiah, and Revelation. {I'm also in Mark, but it's not depressing.} The rest of what I'm reading, so far, is so sad and disheartening and...Let's just say, I don't think Joel Osteen will be preaching from any of those books any time soon. {Does he even use a Bible?}

As my pastor said when I told him Romans was depressing so far, "Keep reading. It gets better." 'Tis true, Jim. 'Tis true.

Epiphany in the Car

The Toot and I were driving this afternoon and listening to his Seeds Family Worship CD, Seeds of Faith. The song Faith was playing, and the lyrics are Hebrews 11:1 and 6 (NIrV). 


"v.1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
And certain of what we do not see...
v.6 Without faith it is impossible to please God
Because anyone who comes to him must believe

That he exists and that he rewards

Those who earnestly seek him."

Here's my stream of thought as I sang along with verse 6. 


"Hmm, 'He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.' 
John Piper would say He rewards us with Himself, and I believe that. 
God is Who satisfies our souls most. 
Prosperity preachers would say that God rewards us with stuff, with things--money, happiness, health.
But if I were in a place and couldn't find my Hubby, so I searched and searched and sought after him, the greatest reward wouldn't be a gift from him. 
It would be himself. 
If I earnestly sought my hubby, the greatest reward would be to find him and have him."


Well, Pastor John {and whole counsel of God's Word}, I do believe you are right. The reward of earnestly seeking God is Himself. Anything else will never be as satisfying.

And Samuel said,

"Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, 
and to listen than the fat of rams." (1 Samuel 15:22)

Well, I don't have a fiery altar or ram fat, but I do have Bible reading and prayer. They don't sound nearly so exciting, but they're the little "sacrifices" of Christians, the spiritual disciplines around which our lives revolve.

My Christian Spiritual Disciplines:

• read the Bible every day (or close to it)
• pray for myself and others
• write in my flowery little journal from Rite Aid
• listen to sermons, Christian books and worship music
• go to church...every Sunday

Like King Saul, I find myself more consumed with completing a long list of spiritual duties than simply obeying God, doing the things He's commanded me to do. (I'm so thankful that God left us the Bible. Makes knowing God's will a lot easier.)

I'm a Christian, a believer and lover of Jesus. That means I'm a child of God. I'm His little girl, and He expects His children to obey Him, not out of fear but out of love. He loves me and knows what's absolutely best for me. When I obey Him, life just seems to "go better," even when it's falling apart.

So here's to obeying my Heavenly Daddy, trusting that what He says is best and always proves good for me and glorifying to Him.

P.S. Obeying God isn't out of fear, but it's a response to the love He has for us. Also, obedience doesn't gain Christians favor with God. We already have His favor by Jesus' death. Again, our obedience is saying, "You've loved me! I love you, and I trust you."

Mystic Sweet Communion

with those whose rest is won...

John Newton is best known for writing the hymn, Amazing Grace. He also loved, discipled and mentored William Cowper. Cowper is known for his many poems and hymns. He also struggled with Melancholy until he died in 1800. Today we would label Melancholy as Clinical Depression. 


I read this a few weeks ago, and printed it out. Reading it again today made my heart rejoice. This is a portion of a letter from Newton to Cowper; how timely it is, these hundreds of years later. 
____________


"The Christian calling, like many others, is easy and clear in theory, but not without much care and difficulty to be reduced to practice. Things appear quite otherwise, when felt experimentally, to what they do, when only read in a book. Many learn the art of navigation (as it is called), by the fire-side at home; but when they come to sea, with their heads full of rules, and without experience, they find that the art is only to be thoroughly learnt upon the spot. So, to renounce self, to live upon Jesus, to walk with God, to overcome the world, to hope against hope, to trust the Lord when we cannot trace him, and to know that our duty and privilege consist in these things, may be readily acknowledged or quickly learned; but, upon repeated trial, we find that saying and doing are two things. We think at setting out that we sit down and count the cost; but alas! our views are so superficial at first, that we have occasion to correct our estimate daily. For every day shows us some new thing in the heart, or some new turn in the management of the war against us which we were not aware of; and upon these accounts, discouragements may arise so high as to bring us (I speak for myself) to the very point of throwing down our arms, and making either a tame surrender or a shameful flight. Thus it would be with us at last, if the Lord of hosts were not on our side…. But if He is the Captain of our salvation, if his eye is upon us, his arm stretched out around us, and his ear open to our cry, and if He has engaged to teach our hands to war and our fingers to fight, and to cover our heads in the day of battle, then we need not fear, though a host rise up against us; but, lifting up our banner in his name, let us go forth conquering and to conquer; Rom. 16:20." 

Blogs-to-Go (8.2.11)

A Promise Made A Promise Kept
This little girl and her family know the "man of sorrows" and "prince of peace" quite deeply.

10 Fascinating Facts About Phone Numbers
Really? I must admit, this is pretty interesting.

Ray of Hope
A story of one Indian child's life, trafficked for sex.

Do Not Froget the Holy Nature of God
Newsflash: God is holy, and you are not. No. Seriously.

Hannah Coulter
Yay! This month's free audiobook is a novel.

Yes, It May Seem Tedious Right Now...

but have patience.

Intimacy doesn't happen overnight and building a close relationship takes much time. When you first become a Christian, it may seem tedious and difficult. Read my Bible every day? Write down my thoughts and questions? Pray?! How do I even begin? Memorize passages and verses? It sounds more like homework than a relationship!


The beginning of any relationship has its easiness and its difficulty. The newness and excitement of marriage is wonderful, but you also must wash dishes and pick up dirty clothes. It is in the washing of dishes and clothes, the mundane activities of daily life together, where intimacy and deep love grow.

The same is true for spiritual disciplines.

Relationships take time, effort, grace and patience. Remember this as you begin to walk with the Lord.

Spending time learning more about Him and what He desires of you grows a desire for Him. Talking to Him through prayer cultivates trust in Him. Listening to His "still, small voice" in your heart reminds you that He's always near. Meditating on and memorizing His Truth, gives you a sword to fight with when temptations come calling.

Jesus loves you dearly and knows that a close relationship with Him brings joy and freedom and happiness like you've never known before.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." 
(David, Psalm 16:11 ESV)


"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
(Jesus, John 15:10-11 ESV)

Things I Love Thursday--Seeds Family Worship

My hubby and I both love music. He plays the guitar, sings and leads worship at our church. I make a joyful noise in the congregation.

Each night we sing together as a family, though. Joining together my noise and his talent. It's wonderful! Doesn't always sound perfect, but it's worship and togetherness, so it's beautiful.

Here are a few reasons Seeds is amazing:

• The songs are straight from Scripture. They're Bible verses set to music. My hubby and I have memorized so much Scripture since we discovered Seeds.
• The music is great! Oftentimes, Christian music is unfortunately cheesy. However, the musicians and composers of these albums are relevant and talented. 
• You get to share! If you purchase an CD album, you're given two! This way, you can share the extra album with a friend. It even has a perforated edge, so they receive a CD case, as well.
• The site is user-friendly. It's easy to navigate through and has tons of free stuff and stuff you may purchase--chords, T-shirts, activities and more! You may even listen to the songs online before purchasing anything.

Hope your family enjoys Seeds Family Worship as much as we do!

This post is linked up to The Diaper Diaries: Things I Love Thursdays. 

Blogs-To-Go (6.8.11)

Prison Food vs. School Food
I went to public school for 12 years and taught for 4. Unfortunately, I was surprised at this.

Quiet Time Performance
Thankful that pastors write honestly about their own struggles. Makes them real people to us layfolk and encourages us.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane
Book review of one of my all-time faves!

Memorable Wedding Dress
Beautiful and well...memorable.

I don't take notes in church.

I used to. I think I have since I became a Christian. I've carried my cutesy, usually floral journal or notebook to church with my pen and Bible. (Lately, I've even carried my pencil pouch in. Now, that's serious business.) Brownie points, right?

Well, last week I read a blog entry from Ray Ortlund about taking notes in church, and I was taken aback. "I have often discouraged the taking of notes while I am preaching..." What?! Why not? Shouldn't we be writing down all the main points and nifty quotes and anything else we deem worthy of our paper and pen? 

I read on, "The first and primary object of preaching is not only to give information....While you are writing your notes, you may be missing something of the impact of the Spirit." 

Wow, I had never thought that through. While I'm taking notes as though I'm seated in a lecture hall, the Spirit of the Living God may be speaking to my heart. I may be too busy being studious to hear His voice. 

Today, I read this quote from Jonathan Edwards on another blog: "The main benefit that is obtained by preaching is by impression made upon the mind in the time of it, and not by the effect that arises afterwards by a remembrance of what was delivered." 

All this to say, I no longer take notes in church. I'm learning to sit under the preaching of the Word and let it soak into my heart. I jot down thoughts or impressions in the margins of my Bible or on my hand. (Sometimes I know I should pray or journal through something later and must remember it.) 

I'm now seeing God's Word as a means to greater intimacy with the Lord, rather than a way to just know more stuff about Him. Besides, here's a confession: I rarely...ahem...don't ever go back and look through sermon notes. 

“This is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” ~Jesus, from John 17:3