Sarah, Jeremiah and Solomon

A beautiful siren once confessed, "Everything changes / Everything falls apart / Can't stop to feel myself losing control / But deep in my senses I know / How stupid could I be / A simpleton could see / that you're no good for me..."


A suffering prophet once observed, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)


A wise king once commanded, "Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well." (Proverbs 5:15)


The grass is never greener. Our hearts will lie to us, tempting us to find satisfaction in the forbidden ones. Drink deeply from your own well, your own husband or wife. Do not be led astray; you'll only be left to die of thirst. 

So far? Only two weeks.

Since our wedding, seven years ago, the longest time my hubby and I have been apart was two weeks. In a couple of months, that will change.

My hubby has accepted a job overseas that will take him away for a year. He'll have a couple of "leaves," but over all, he'll be working in the sand for a long while. The Toot and I will not be going with him. We will be home in the States, learning how to rely solely on the Lord.

I'm going to be stretched, there's no doubt. I can't begin to think of how much I depend on the Hubby. Changing the AC filters, fixing wifi, taking the car to be serviced, fixing anything that breaks, weed eating (I mow, but I'm terrible at weed eating.), and so many other "Honey Do" chores. I am now thoroughly convinced that God's word for this year is diligence.

These next two months, before he leaves, are going to be so difficult. I want to make the best of our time together, but I'm so nervous and afraid and trying not to burst into tears. None of that makes for a great time.

Here's to trusting the Lord and knowing (if only in my mind) that He's faithful and good and loving and trustworthy and omnipresent.


"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.'”
(Psalm 91:1,2 ESV)

P.S. For any creepers who may stumble across this post: We have two very well-functioning house alarms, and there will be few nights that I won't have someone sleeping over. Just sayin'.

Joyful Diligence?

So this is me. In my natural state. I would sit and rot my life away with a book or sleeping or eating. I do not kid myself that I'm inherently diligent or self-motivating or any such nonsense.

Also, I spend most of my time feeling guilty and beating myself up. Not a fun ride.

Sit. Read. Sit some more. Nap. Feel fat. Need to get up. No, I don't feel like getting up. Sit some more. Feel worse. I'll try again tomorrow.

Wake up. New day! Well, I'm always lazy, so why even try. Thus begins the cycle. Again.

This is life for me. Allow me to confess some sins to you: I'm excruciating lazy and selfish and feel quite entitled to do whatever I want. (Being a SAHM makes for a comfortable breeding ground for these sins.)

But God is a good Dad. He doesn't just sit by and let His children live in the filth they've always known. God is love, and that is not loving.

After some "coincidences" recently, I'm convinced that God wants me to step up and fight to be diligent in all areas of my life. (Yes, this is something that should be a given. For me, it hasn't been. Now, stop judging me.)

So here they are: my goals for 2012. They're big, but I've spent some time writing down how to practically live them out. (Those details would be different for everyone, so I won't give them.)

• Personal: Eat healthy, sleep responsibly and exercise daily.
• Walk with God: Seek satisfaction in God alone and fight for joy.
• Family: Love and serve my family with joy.
• Home: Work diligently, as for the Lord and not my hubby.
• Ministry: Joyfully pour my life out for the women and children I serve. 

Yes. They sound like your average Christian To-do List, but none of these things are easy for me. I have to fight to do them. I want to do them, but I just don't.

Here's to a new year and a hope in God's sufficient grace that produces change.

P.S. Please note that I'm seeking to all of this with joy, another attribute that doesn't come naturally. Like, at all. 

Joseph, Planning and God's Will

I'll propose. She'll say, "yes!" Then, I'll head back to my parents' house to add on some rooms for our own home. She'll prepare whatever she needs to prepare to be my wife. We'll be married. I'll continue my carpentry business here in town. She'll be a great little Homemaker and hopefully SAHM soon. Perfect! I've got it all worked out. 


{Okay, I know Joseph probably didn't think exactly like that, but I'm sure he had some kind of plan in mind. Scripture says he was a just man who "considered" things, so I'm sure he was prudent and thoughtful in his decisions. Getting married is a pretty big decision.}


Joseph has his plan all thought-out, and then: "...before they came together she was found to be with child..." 


{Oh dear. I'm not a historian, but I'm sure that was frowned-upon in his culture, but after a night of divine visitation, he decides to keep Mary and the growing baby.}


All right. So, the girl I'm about to marry is pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but she's carrying the Messiah, the Savior we've been anticipating for thousands of years, the Son of God! No pressure. I can handle this...I need to go chop something...


{If I had been Joseph, these would have been my thoughts: I can't believe you'd put all this on us! We can't handle something this! Why have you done this? Everything was going fine, and now, what are we suppose to do?! Still, God isn't done. Joseph's plans are crumbling to pieces, and God is still pounding into them.}

"In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child."


{My first thought when I read this was, "Seriously, Lord?!" Then I wondered if Joseph complained or got frustrated with this new situation. Not only was he about to marry a pregnant girl and be the adoptive parent of God's Son, he's also go to pack up and journey 70 miles on foot with a super-pregnant fiancé sitting on a donkey.}
_______


We don't know for certain what Joseph was thinking and feeling through all of this, but we do know a few things:

• He was a just man. (Matt. 1:19)
• He wasn't hasty in decision-making. (Matt. 1:20)
• He believed Gabriel's message. (Matt. 1:24)
• He obeyed the message. (Matt. 1:24)

May Joseph be an example to God's children. Christians, we must be thoughtful and patient in making decisions, and when God says to do something, we must obey. 

No matter how random and arbitrary or terrifying and humiliating God's will may be, He is a good and loving Father. He only calls us to what is most glorifying to Him. Strangely enough, what glorifies Him is always good for us, whether we believe it or not.

This post was inspired by today's Advent reading, Luke 2:1-7. This and other readings are chronicled here. 

Blogs-To-Go (7.26.11)

Enlightenment Fundamentalist
Article about the Oslo Murder. He isn't a Christian Fundamentalist, after all.


One Big, Happy Polygamous Family
Well, I suppose if I'm okay with homosexual people getting married, I can't battle these marriages, either. Hmmmm...I may be backing myself into a hole. 


Tips for Road Trips with Kids
This is a great Top Ten list. 


Beware Romantic Pornography
I've thought about this before but haven't been able to verbalize it well. 


Titus 2 is not a woman's To-Do list.
Wow, it's amazing what is made clear when you keep reading.
"When read in its entirety, Titus 2 releases us from the treadmill of accomplishing as godly women and welcomes us into accessing the riches of Christ’s godliness to be all that a devoted female disciple is called to be."

Yes, It May Seem Tedious Right Now...

but have patience.

Intimacy doesn't happen overnight and building a close relationship takes much time. When you first become a Christian, it may seem tedious and difficult. Read my Bible every day? Write down my thoughts and questions? Pray?! How do I even begin? Memorize passages and verses? It sounds more like homework than a relationship!


The beginning of any relationship has its easiness and its difficulty. The newness and excitement of marriage is wonderful, but you also must wash dishes and pick up dirty clothes. It is in the washing of dishes and clothes, the mundane activities of daily life together, where intimacy and deep love grow.

The same is true for spiritual disciplines.

Relationships take time, effort, grace and patience. Remember this as you begin to walk with the Lord.

Spending time learning more about Him and what He desires of you grows a desire for Him. Talking to Him through prayer cultivates trust in Him. Listening to His "still, small voice" in your heart reminds you that He's always near. Meditating on and memorizing His Truth, gives you a sword to fight with when temptations come calling.

Jesus loves you dearly and knows that a close relationship with Him brings joy and freedom and happiness like you've never known before.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." 
(David, Psalm 16:11 ESV)


"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
(Jesus, John 15:10-11 ESV)

Now, That's a Good Daddy.

I could make a long and fancy list explaining why my hubby is a wonderful dad. However, here's the (current) most important reason my great husband is also a great father.

He works three jobs, so that I may be a Stay-at-Home-Mom for Caleb. 

Some may think being a SAHM is old-fashioned and lowly and lazy, but my hubby and I are convinced it is a high calling and one to be valued and honored.

My husband goes to the office every morning at 8:00 a.m. Then, he comes home at 5:00 p.m. and begins his second job. (BTW-He can fix most iOS devices, PC's and Mac's. In case you were wondering.) On Saturday and Sunday mornings, he's at his third job. Altogether, I have no clue how many hours he works, but I know it's a lot.

The Bible calls husbands to lay down their lives for their wives, just as Christ laid down His for the church. My hubby does this every day.

I may never become the "Proverbs 31" wife and mom, but I know I have a husband who may make it possible. I am blossoming and growing and learning and enjoying this life because my hubby makes it possible.

Happy Father's Day, Hubby. I love you so very, very much. Thank you for being the husband and dad that you are. You bring glory to the name, Daddy.

Daddy--A Worthy Name

It is a high calling to be a Christian Father. All dads have huge responsibilities, but Christian dads have even more...

"You shall teach [my commandments] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV)

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." (Ephesians 5:23 ESV)

Not only are dads to teach their children about fishing and motorcycles and sex and martial arts and not hitting girls, Christian dads have the added responsibility to teach God's Word to their children.

To teach it, they must know it. To know it, they must be in it and living it. No pressure?!

Let's see. That would include...purity, loving God, sacrifice, submission, authority, freedom in Christ, loving others, defining "others," character, prayer, humility, finding joy in sorrow, fearing the Lord, taking care of nature, studying the Bible, making a "joyful noise," worship...

Wow. Daddies who love Jesus have some big shoes to fill. Wives, they need us. They desperately need us.

I write to myself as I make this list.

Ladies:

• manage your household and children well. 
• spend time with the Lord each morning. 
• make your hubby the next priority beneath God. 
• free your husbands to be godly leaders for your family. 
• do NOT usurp his role, even if he's isn't leading. 
• pray for him. 
• love him. 
• cherish and serve him. 

Our husbands have a seriously intimidating role, and they need to know we're next to them, loving and encouraging them all the way.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies! Lead us well, because we will follow you!

Top Ten Tuesday--What I'm Missing While Watching TV

My hubby and I didn't watch much TV, that is, until this past month. We watched all the seasons of Lost and have nothing eternally (or even temporally) significant to show for it. Plus, we missed a lot of our lives during this time.

What I'm Missing While Watching TV

10. Reading

Very little has been read in this house lately. No novels, fiction, biographies, news...

9. Adequate rest

We go to bed late. We watch TV too late. It messes up our sleep rhythms. Then, we wake up late and feel rushed all day. 

8. Family Worship

We've never been consistent with family worship, but I love when we talk about the Word and how It's affecting our lives. It makes me happy to "make a joyful noise" with my hubby. (My voice emphasizes "joyful noise," but he plays the guitar and sings beautifully.)

7. Family time

If we spend time watching TV while Caleb's asleep, then we have to get stuff done while he's awake. (TV is off-limits to him.) Our selfishness takes away from time that could be spent with the Little Man, Chewy and Sophie. 

6. Housework

Again, if we spend time watching TV, then the house begins to slowly unravel. As manager of this home, the responsibility falls on me to keep it ordered. I've been less than diligent in this area. 

5. Conversations

My hubby doesn't like to talk during movies; it's the same with TV shows. I can't pay attention to anything but a colorful screen when one's on, so there's no use trying to hold a conversation with me, anyway.

4. Date Night

The few we've had lately have been in the living room in front of...you guessed it!

3. Sex

Well...we get to bed too late and are both exhausted.

2. Time in the Word and prayer

If my relationship with my hubby begins to wan, this relationship is also affected. I miss Him, but I'm ashamed of my wasted time. (Thank you, Small Group ladies for your encouragement in this area!)

1. Three ENTIRE days of our lives

Yep. My hubby did the math. By watching every season of this show, we literally wasted three-24 hour days of our lives. Can't ever get those back.

From this we've concluded that we won't be watching much TV in the future. Please don't tell us about a new show we should watch; we'll kindly decline. We are choosing other ways to spend our lives. 

"A mind fed daily on TV diminishes. Your mind was made to know and love God. Its facility for this great calling is ruined by excessive TV. The content is so trivial and so shallow that the capacity of the mind to think worthy thoughts withers, and the capacity of the heart to feel deep emotions shrivels." ~Pastor John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at OhAmanda.

Top Ten Tuesday

Today's Top Ten is borrowed with love from MSN via Mary Kassain.

Please visit the following link for the list. Read, enjoy and vote!

Top Ten Fights in Marriage

Two of our top three landed at the top of this list.

Side-note: I dislike the word "fight." The Hubby and I have had three major fights during our marriage. We have had some seriously intense disagreements, though.

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at OhAmanda.

Blogs-To-Go (6.6.11)

Ghost Ants
Okay, that's just freaky. That photo gave me the Heebie-Jeebies.

Taboo Then and Now
Very interesting article and photos.

Milky Way
Time-lapse video such beauty!

Encouraging Your Hubby
Christian ladies, this is a must-read!

Goodbye, Baby Weight!

A mommy friend once told me, "It took you almost a year to get to the size you are now. Give yourself a year to get back down." Fair enough. I got pregnant. Gained weight over almost 10 months, and then lost only 1o-ish of it when Caleb was born. I have a good bit of "Baby Fluff" left to be rid of.


Also, I'm an extremist. I go from prideful to self-pitiful in no time, and lately, my weight has kept me on the pitiful end of the spectrum. I finally broke down and asked my hubby to help me. Neither of us are in the best shape of our lives, so both of us will benefit from this.

Recent Changes at Erven Manor

• Hubby's in charge of grocery shopping. (This means: lots of protein and veggies, and adiós to Nutella and breads and Hot Wings with skin and and apple juice and... Just typing that sentence made me sad.)
• Hubby dictates what I do at the gym. (This means: 3 days of weight training, 2 days of cardio and 1 day of yoga. Did I mention that I loathe weight training and love yoga? I enjoy weight lifting as I enjoy watching ugly paint dry.)
• Hubby dictates what I drink. (This means: I'm going to be sick of water. I mean...I'm going to be well hydrated.)

Allowing my husband to rule over these areas of my life for a while may make him sound like a dictator. It isn't like that. I've asked him to do this for me, because I am not exactly the most self-motivated person. 


However. If Caleb needs to sleep, no matter what it costs me, he's asleep. If my hubby says no, no matter what I lose, I obey him. (He's a reasonable guy. Trust me.) If I forget my reusable bags, I'm heading back to the car to get them. Mr. Erven made the point that I'll do whatever I need to do when it comes to what I'm convinced is important. He made me realize that I can be motivated and determined. I simply have to be convinced that the end result is far worthier than the temporary satisfaction. 


So, here I am on Day 1 of Goodbye, Baby Weight. This is me believing that the end result of healthiness and confidence is far more satisfying than Nutella or Zaxby's wings. No, really, Mrs. Erven. It's true. 


So far, so good. Mrs. Erven, it's not even 8am. Hey! Don't discourage me! I can do this, dang it!

I will remember the deeds of the LORD.

I read the Bible, and I see God's faithfulness to His people everywhere. The Old Testament is covered in His loving pursuit of Israel, even in their open defiance. The New Testament brings in Jesus to fulfill God's "Special Rescue Plan" as Caleb's Bible reads. All throughout history God's been faithful to His children. He still is, even now, in a small subdivision in South Georgia.

(Most of this list shows God's faithfulness to provide financially, because of my hubby's job loss. We've been paying extra close attention.)

• Got WIC two days before Donny was laid off. The appointment had been scheduled for months. 
• Applied and was approved for a credit card for emergencies a few days before Donny lost his job. If we had waited, we'd have had no income. No income = no credit card. (We know that a credit card is dangerous water, but it's paid for the dogs' vet bill, grooming, and some groceries. We are treading thoughtfully.) 
• Hubby's former employer gave us two extra weeks of pay PLUS an extra month of health insurance. 
• During our extra month of insurance, Caleb had his four-month checkup at the Pediatrician's office. 
• The day before our insurance ran out, Caleb had his one-and-only physical therapy appointment. (PT said he'll need to come back in a month, but she won't charge us to check up on him.) 
• A part of Caleb's head is flat, so the PT said to let him sit in a Bumbo or exersaucer. Got both of these from my cousin just a couple of weeks ago. 
• $200 was left in our mailbox inside an envelope that read, "We love you." From whom? We know not.
• Family and friends have been extremely generous. They've bought us food and Caleb formula. They've given us gift cards, babysat for free, and hired Donny to work. 
• We are receiving assistance to pay the last of our hospital bills, possibly all of it.
• One of my besties has the same eye prescription as me. She usually wears her glasses, so she has given me months and months worth of contacts.
• We have just enough money to pay our bills for April.
• With our Tax Return we were able to give to our church AND MTWJapan. 

I'm sure that God has done immeasurably more than this, but this is what we've noticed. We do have small eyes.

In response to what God's done for us, I say with Asaph: "I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work and meditate on your mighty deeds [...and] tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders he has done." (Psalm 77:11-12; 78:4b)

Mint and Dill and Cumin

I'm not blessed as a chef, but I do know those are herbs. I'm assuming pretty expensive herbs in Jesus' time.

The other night I was thinking of how I've been learning that spiritual disciples are necessary, but they aren't the end-all-be-all of our sanctification. Reading God's Word, communicating with Him through prayer, being poured into and pouring into other Christians are all necessary pieces to walking closely with the Lord. However, they're only some of the pieces.

This is Jesus speaking. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!" (Matthew 23:23-24 ESV) (Aside: When I read words like these, I wonder how people can think Jesus was just a nice teacher who said fluffy stuff all the time about love and peace and "being a good person.")

I thought of this Scripture when I was thinking about spiritual disciplines. I felt God saying, "You read your bible, go to church, pray, and sing spiritual songs, and you neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness..."

I'm not sure what to do with justice other than pray for the widow, the orphan, and the sojourner. Mercy? Love the ladies God's placed in my life, all my Small Group girls. Love them and be merciful and kind and compassionate with them. Faithfulness? Be a faithful and loving wife and mommy, doing all I can to show my men how much they're loved and appreciated.

__

Okay, I began this post a day ago, and now I'm not sure what else I planned to say. So...the end.

Either Ramblings or a List

If I tried to post in paragraph form, I'd ramble. Most likely nothing would make sense to anyone but me, so I'm going to just make a random list of what I think of.

1. Being a mommy is really hard and exhausting.
2. I love nursing. It's the sweetest time for me right now. Well, that and the precious few minutes alone with my hubby before we fall asleep, or Caleb wakes up.
3. Nursing was incredibly difficult at the beginning. I almost gave up, but I'm thankful that my hubby wouldn't let me.
4. God has given us lots of extra grace and physical endurance this past week.
5. Caleb is absolutely perfect.
6. My hubby and I have to laugh a lot, especially when changing and feeding, changing and feeding. Otherwise, we'll go crazy.
7. Newborn poop is weird and gross-looking, but it doesn't stink too bad. Poots, however...
8. We go through onesies and sleeping-outfits like crazy! Old one off-new one on-cue the spit up.
9. My hubby has been a refuge and help to me since we entered the hospital. Now, we're at home, and he's done more for me than I could ever thank him for. I'm scared to be here without him next week, even though others are coming to help.
10. My back hurts a lot and often. Caleb's heavy, and I'm pretty weak. Hope we can order one of those Moby wraps soon. We're poor right now.
11. The house stays disastrous. The kitchen is never caught up. Dishes are either dirty or still in the sink. The floor feels sticky in places, and there are breast pads and random other boob-oriented stuff everywhere!
12. Breast pumps are from the Lord. At least, the Medela "Pump in Style" is. However, it'd be nice if it was hands-free. It takes both my hubby and me to get it situated.
13. The post-partum period so far would have broken me if I didn't have my hubby. He has ideas that I don't think of concerning sleeping and feeding. He researches everything, so that we can make the best idea. He loves Jesus and tells me how he's proud of me and loves me.
14. Formula is not evil and from the devil.
15. Suddenly, it's raining really hard. Nice...

Okay, all that and more are passing through my mind these days. Caleb's snoozing, and I need to clean up a little while I have a minute. Yes, I know I should be sleeping, but it's hard when I see the house this way. Grrr...