My Hands are Full

Recently, I was challenged by Gloria Furman {whom you can read here and a few other places} to see how full my hands really are. When someone helps me out at the grocery store because, "Whoo! You've sure got your hands full." I can smile, think of the following truth and agree with joyful enthusiasm.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places..." (Ephesians 1:3)

God the Father has blessed me with every spiritual blessing! What a glorious truth to behold, especially when it seems my hands are full of so much else.

Be challenged, Christian Mommy, to think on this truth in the midst of all the craziness that may be your life right now. Each season is a time to rejoice and be glad because your hands are full!

Joyful Diligence?

So this is me. In my natural state. I would sit and rot my life away with a book or sleeping or eating. I do not kid myself that I'm inherently diligent or self-motivating or any such nonsense.

Also, I spend most of my time feeling guilty and beating myself up. Not a fun ride.

Sit. Read. Sit some more. Nap. Feel fat. Need to get up. No, I don't feel like getting up. Sit some more. Feel worse. I'll try again tomorrow.

Wake up. New day! Well, I'm always lazy, so why even try. Thus begins the cycle. Again.

This is life for me. Allow me to confess some sins to you: I'm excruciating lazy and selfish and feel quite entitled to do whatever I want. (Being a SAHM makes for a comfortable breeding ground for these sins.)

But God is a good Dad. He doesn't just sit by and let His children live in the filth they've always known. God is love, and that is not loving.

After some "coincidences" recently, I'm convinced that God wants me to step up and fight to be diligent in all areas of my life. (Yes, this is something that should be a given. For me, it hasn't been. Now, stop judging me.)

So here they are: my goals for 2012. They're big, but I've spent some time writing down how to practically live them out. (Those details would be different for everyone, so I won't give them.)

• Personal: Eat healthy, sleep responsibly and exercise daily.
• Walk with God: Seek satisfaction in God alone and fight for joy.
• Family: Love and serve my family with joy.
• Home: Work diligently, as for the Lord and not my hubby.
• Ministry: Joyfully pour my life out for the women and children I serve. 

Yes. They sound like your average Christian To-do List, but none of these things are easy for me. I have to fight to do them. I want to do them, but I just don't.

Here's to a new year and a hope in God's sufficient grace that produces change.

P.S. Please note that I'm seeking to all of this with joy, another attribute that doesn't come naturally. Like, at all. 

Top Ten Tuesday--What I'm Missing While Watching TV

My hubby and I didn't watch much TV, that is, until this past month. We watched all the seasons of Lost and have nothing eternally (or even temporally) significant to show for it. Plus, we missed a lot of our lives during this time.

What I'm Missing While Watching TV

10. Reading

Very little has been read in this house lately. No novels, fiction, biographies, news...

9. Adequate rest

We go to bed late. We watch TV too late. It messes up our sleep rhythms. Then, we wake up late and feel rushed all day. 

8. Family Worship

We've never been consistent with family worship, but I love when we talk about the Word and how It's affecting our lives. It makes me happy to "make a joyful noise" with my hubby. (My voice emphasizes "joyful noise," but he plays the guitar and sings beautifully.)

7. Family time

If we spend time watching TV while Caleb's asleep, then we have to get stuff done while he's awake. (TV is off-limits to him.) Our selfishness takes away from time that could be spent with the Little Man, Chewy and Sophie. 

6. Housework

Again, if we spend time watching TV, then the house begins to slowly unravel. As manager of this home, the responsibility falls on me to keep it ordered. I've been less than diligent in this area. 

5. Conversations

My hubby doesn't like to talk during movies; it's the same with TV shows. I can't pay attention to anything but a colorful screen when one's on, so there's no use trying to hold a conversation with me, anyway.

4. Date Night

The few we've had lately have been in the living room in front of...you guessed it!

3. Sex

Well...we get to bed too late and are both exhausted.

2. Time in the Word and prayer

If my relationship with my hubby begins to wan, this relationship is also affected. I miss Him, but I'm ashamed of my wasted time. (Thank you, Small Group ladies for your encouragement in this area!)

1. Three ENTIRE days of our lives

Yep. My hubby did the math. By watching every season of this show, we literally wasted three-24 hour days of our lives. Can't ever get those back.

From this we've concluded that we won't be watching much TV in the future. Please don't tell us about a new show we should watch; we'll kindly decline. We are choosing other ways to spend our lives. 

"A mind fed daily on TV diminishes. Your mind was made to know and love God. Its facility for this great calling is ruined by excessive TV. The content is so trivial and so shallow that the capacity of the mind to think worthy thoughts withers, and the capacity of the heart to feel deep emotions shrivels." ~Pastor John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at OhAmanda.

Blogs-To-Go (5.23.11)

Do Not Sit in the Seat of Scoffers

Denny Burk gives believers some food-for-thought on how to respond to this weekend's Non-Rapture.

For Tired Moms

This blog belongs to Responsible Puppet's wife. Enjoy!

Call It What God Calls It

Short but convicting article on confessing sin, not the symptoms of it.

Oh, dear.

I've blogged about all the things I'm afraid of. This is at the top of the list. If my hubby lets this happen, even if Caleb has a license and a bike, I may cry. Okay, probably not. I will be nervous, though.

Tornado Warning

Background: I'm terrified of a lot of things: spiders, too many people in one room, being looked at, centipedes, car accidents, being tortured, scorpions, and Mother Nature. No, I don't think of earth as a "Mother," but it's the easiest way to list tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes...without having to do it. (That was counter productive.)


At 4:15 this morning, we're hit by a serious thunderstorm. I'm up, out of bed, dressed, glasses, hair up in 1 minute. Off to check the weather online. Praise the Lord for laptops!


Tornado warning?! Everyone into the closet!


Caleb is four and a half months old and has only been woken up (purposely), maybe, twice. He looked completely dazed. 


Here were his thoughts on the matter: 
Wow. Mommy's here. It's too early to get up. Where are we going? Nice. These speakers are excellent. The thunderstorm on my iPhone sounds so realistic. Why are we in the closet? Am I really awake? Hey, Uncle Jimmy. Ooh, I want to touch Sophie. Why are we still sitting here? This is weird. I'm not sure I've ever been in this closet...


If only we'd taken a photo. 


Most beautiful thing? It took him, maybe, 7 minutes to go back to sleep. (He only sleeps in his crib, and we don't rock him anymore.) 


Hopefully he'll stay this way. Mommy and the dogs may be freaking out, but I'm just chillin'. 


Caleb totally believes Psalm 4:8. "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." 


P.S. This storm makes me thankful, incredibly thankful that I am no longer under God's wrath. If a thunderstorm is this frightening and destructive, I cannot begin to imagine God's holy anger against a person. "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed."
(Romans 2:4, 5 ESV)

Mint and Dill and Cumin

I'm not blessed as a chef, but I do know those are herbs. I'm assuming pretty expensive herbs in Jesus' time.

The other night I was thinking of how I've been learning that spiritual disciples are necessary, but they aren't the end-all-be-all of our sanctification. Reading God's Word, communicating with Him through prayer, being poured into and pouring into other Christians are all necessary pieces to walking closely with the Lord. However, they're only some of the pieces.

This is Jesus speaking. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!" (Matthew 23:23-24 ESV) (Aside: When I read words like these, I wonder how people can think Jesus was just a nice teacher who said fluffy stuff all the time about love and peace and "being a good person.")

I thought of this Scripture when I was thinking about spiritual disciplines. I felt God saying, "You read your bible, go to church, pray, and sing spiritual songs, and you neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness..."

I'm not sure what to do with justice other than pray for the widow, the orphan, and the sojourner. Mercy? Love the ladies God's placed in my life, all my Small Group girls. Love them and be merciful and kind and compassionate with them. Faithfulness? Be a faithful and loving wife and mommy, doing all I can to show my men how much they're loved and appreciated.

__

Okay, I began this post a day ago, and now I'm not sure what else I planned to say. So...the end.

Captain Ahab and Nighttime Feedings

This will be a short, non-theological or spiritual post. It's just silliness.

I'm streaming Moby Dick on Netflix while I work around the house during the day. Well, at 3:00 a.m., while I was feeding Caleb, I started falling asleep.

In the half-awake, half-asleep state I had a short dream. I dreamed that I was on the Pequod with the crew. We saw the white whale, and Captain Ahab yelled, "Are you sure we can put this whale down drowsy but awake?"

I realized that made no sense, even in a dream, and woke up. Wow, too much TV and too many parenting books.

All of Life is Repentance

I think that's from Martin Luther, but who knows?

Caleb, 1 day old

Caleb wasn't tired the other night. He wasn't tired when I wanted him to be. It's amazing how much sin comes out when I'm tired. I was frustrated and angry and seriously thought, "There's no way I can keep doing this." I felt like I was mean to my little man. Although, nothing was outward. I didn't hurt him or say ugly words. I just felt anger in my heart.

I went to bed. My hubby took over. The next morning, I fed Caleb and cried. I apologized to him for my heart's sin and repented before the Lord. It's frustrating, still, because I know I'll probably have to repent again. My heart isn't clean, and I'll not always be loving and kind and patient. I'll especially struggle when I'm tired.

All that said: Jesus loves me. He won't forsake me. He'll keep my deceptive heart as I abide in Him. I'm so thankful that He remains faithful even when I'm unfaithful.

"[Jesus said,] Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

(John 15:3-5 ESV)

Either Ramblings or a List

If I tried to post in paragraph form, I'd ramble. Most likely nothing would make sense to anyone but me, so I'm going to just make a random list of what I think of.

1. Being a mommy is really hard and exhausting.
2. I love nursing. It's the sweetest time for me right now. Well, that and the precious few minutes alone with my hubby before we fall asleep, or Caleb wakes up.
3. Nursing was incredibly difficult at the beginning. I almost gave up, but I'm thankful that my hubby wouldn't let me.
4. God has given us lots of extra grace and physical endurance this past week.
5. Caleb is absolutely perfect.
6. My hubby and I have to laugh a lot, especially when changing and feeding, changing and feeding. Otherwise, we'll go crazy.
7. Newborn poop is weird and gross-looking, but it doesn't stink too bad. Poots, however...
8. We go through onesies and sleeping-outfits like crazy! Old one off-new one on-cue the spit up.
9. My hubby has been a refuge and help to me since we entered the hospital. Now, we're at home, and he's done more for me than I could ever thank him for. I'm scared to be here without him next week, even though others are coming to help.
10. My back hurts a lot and often. Caleb's heavy, and I'm pretty weak. Hope we can order one of those Moby wraps soon. We're poor right now.
11. The house stays disastrous. The kitchen is never caught up. Dishes are either dirty or still in the sink. The floor feels sticky in places, and there are breast pads and random other boob-oriented stuff everywhere!
12. Breast pumps are from the Lord. At least, the Medela "Pump in Style" is. However, it'd be nice if it was hands-free. It takes both my hubby and me to get it situated.
13. The post-partum period so far would have broken me if I didn't have my hubby. He has ideas that I don't think of concerning sleeping and feeding. He researches everything, so that we can make the best idea. He loves Jesus and tells me how he's proud of me and loves me.
14. Formula is not evil and from the devil.
15. Suddenly, it's raining really hard. Nice...

Okay, all that and more are passing through my mind these days. Caleb's snoozing, and I need to clean up a little while I have a minute. Yes, I know I should be sleeping, but it's hard when I see the house this way. Grrr...